Evening Comics Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Program

Television's prominent entertainers spent their broadcast mocking President Donald Trump's just unveiled immigration program, called the "golden visa," describing it as a clear pay-for-access arrangement for the affluent.

Colbert's Witty Spin

Opening his show, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic Christmas song directed at the commander-in-chief. "He is making a list, checking it twice, and then handing that list to the officials at ICE," he intoned. "Trump ... spoils everything he comes into contact with."

Colbert's target was the new initiative that enables international citizens to buy U.S. legal status for an investment of a million dollars, or "platinum" version for five million. The program's website pledges approval "faster than ever."

"A quick message for you to rich foreigners: before you pony up, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He noted that the program is also intended to "get cash" from companies looking to hire foreign workers, with large costs. "That's a lot of fees, however if you enroll, you also get free accommodation at a hotel of your selection – provided that it's the that one hotel," he continued.

"The best background check the government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants truly qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"Here's a card that will allow wealthy overseas citizens to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your selection."

"Maybe it's time to revise that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your tired masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel lampooned the lack of detail of the application, noting it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Economic Concerns

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's slipping approval ratings during economic concerns. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term because they were angry about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a effort to discuss cost of living, Trump held a briefing in front of a array of grocery items, and behaved oddly to some cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"He's so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by criticizing right-leaning news coverage of Trump's financial performance. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy like the one FIFA did," he remarked.